My father Lucio recently past away at the age of 80 years old. He had to fight his way at the end in the battle of ATC cancer [Anaplastic Thyroid Carcinoma]. A very deadly and rapid acting cancer. My dad was able to survive triple heart bypass more than 20 years ago but lost his battle to ATC cancer. My dad was my mentor, my friend, my solitude, the biggest pillar in my life.
This is the first death in our family and the first time my son was able to experience one. I guess both my 3 year old son Andre and I both experience a family loss at the same time. I have tried my best to be strong for the family and for my son. During one of the days of my father’s wake, my son cried to me saying he missed his Lolo Lucio (Grandfather Lucio) so much. To comfort him, I told him “it’s okay to cry it out”. His Lolo (Grandpa) is physically dead but his spirit is wandering around and would be looking after us.
Surprisingly my son Andre was able to comprehend death as one morning during my father’s waked, I ask him if he had said good morning to his Lolo (Grandpa). It was surprising for me to hear my 3yr old son telling me “but mommy, Lolo is already dead”. Although he took my question literally, he understood that his Lolo will not be able to answer him back good morning. I hope someday I would be able to explain more to my son about death and afterlife. I know he is too young to understand for now as most often he takes things literally… but someday, I’ll pray God would give me the wisdom, knowledge, wit and heart to be able to explain to my son death and afterlife as I too would be in that path.
If you have suggestions and comments, please feel free to send to me. Thank you.
Last night, I was so proud of my son after hearing what my mom told me…at Lim Kit Kai mall in my home town Cagayan De Oro someone ask my son where his mother is and what he is doing in CDO, he simply replied: “my mommy is in Hong Kong working to earn money and I am here taking care of my Lola (Grandma – Lumen)”. Before I left my son under the care of my mother and sisters I told him to take care of himself, try not to get sick and take care of his Lola (grandma). All the while, I thought my son just said yes for the sake of it but to my surprise and everyone else’s he keeps on tailing wherever his grandma would go around the house and tell everyone that he is taking care of his grandma.
When I called him to say goodnight and remind him to do his night prayer, he cried telling me he missed me so much and ask me how he can be with me. It breaks my heart to hear that but I have to teach my son to be tough at a tender age. I tried to tell him to be strong as he is taking care of his grandma and we’ll be seeing each other pretty soon.
