TO THEE I BID ADIEU

Here are some of the memories we can remember or have known through the eyes of the photograper...

Inspiring sight

Here are some photos I took last June ... sunrise from Cebu Philippines going to Cagayan De Oro City Philippines. Very inspiring view, it gives me hope to see this. I was one of the lucky ones who gets to see God's creation in action at the crack of dawn. Hope you like it too.



Cebu, Philippines



 

Cagayan De Oro City, Philippines June 30, 2012

Cagayan De Oro City, Philippines

 

  

 

 

Emptyness

I missed my papa so much. I can feel the emptiness inside, it's tearing me apart. All the while I thought I would be okay and can get by... but then reality sinks in, I can never see my papa again in this life time. I know I will be okay and will get by but time is what I need for now.

Simple Conversation

Having my son oceans away from me is hard as a mother and as a parent. Now I understand why my own mom is always worried about me being away from home. My son and I have to settle on phone conversation or maybe Skype during night time or on the weekend.

Last night, I was so proud of my son after hearing what my mom told me…at Lim Kit Kai mall in my home town Cagayan De Oro someone ask my son where his mother is and what he is doing in CDO, he simply replied: “my mommy is in Hong Kong working to earn money and I am here taking care of my Lola (Grandma – Lumen)”. Before I left my son under the care of my mother and sisters I told him to take care of himself, try not to get sick and take care of his Lola (grandma). All the while, I thought my son just said yes for the sake of it but to my surprise and everyone else’s he keeps on tailing wherever his grandma would go around the house and tell everyone that he is taking care of his grandma.

When I called him to say goodnight and remind him to do his night prayer, he cried telling me he missed me so much and ask me how he can be with me. It breaks my heart to hear that but I have to teach my son to be tough at a tender age. I tried to tell him to be strong as he is taking care of his grandma and we’ll be seeing each other pretty soon.

A loss in the family

My father Lucio recently past away at the age of 80 years old. He had to fight his way at the end in the battle of ATC cancer [Anaplastic Thyroid Carcinoma]. A very deadly and rapid acting cancer. My dad was able to survive triple heart bypass more than 20 years ago but lost his battle to ATC cancer. My dad was my mentor, my friend, my solitude, the biggest pillar in my life.

This is the first death in our family and the first time my son was able to experience one. I guess both my 3 year old son Andre and I both experience a family loss at the same time. I have tried my best to be strong for the family and for my son. During one of the days of my father’s wake, my son cried to me saying he missed his Lolo Lucio (Grandfather Lucio) so much. To comfort him, I told him “it’s okay to cry it out”. His Lolo (Grandpa) is physically dead but his spirit is wandering around and would be looking after us.

Surprisingly my son Andre was able to comprehend death as one morning during my father’s waked, I ask him if he had said good morning to his Lolo (Grandpa). It was surprising for me to hear my 3yr old son telling me “but mommy, Lolo is already dead”. Although he took my question literally, he understood that his Lolo will not be able to answer him back good morning. I hope someday I would be able to explain more to my son about death and afterlife. I know he is too young to understand for now as most often he takes things literally… but someday, I’ll pray God would give me the wisdom, knowledge, wit and heart to be able to explain to my son death and afterlife as I too would be in that path.

If you have suggestions and comments, please feel free to send to me. Thank you.

Living a liberated life and Morality…is it a contradiction?

Being far away from our home land (the Philippines), would this give us a right to live freely and not think about our responsibilities back home with the people we love? Would we not care of the consequences? Or are we just saying…we can deal with the consequences later and just have some “FUN” now. What happened to the foundation of our morality? Are we letting go of our morality in exchange of living a liberated life outside our home land? The land where we were born and raised, grew up and where our parents strive their best to provide us the best morals and education. The land where our parents shed there sweat and blood to raise us up properly (“pawis at dugo”).

I for one am a victim of this chaos, I allowed myself to become a single mother. Of which I have no regrets as I was blessed with a loving, cheerful and very charismatic son. As I walk around the city of Hong Kong, I see a lot of my countrymen having great fun, living liberally. What happened to our morals? Did it went away the minute we stepped out of the aircraft? Or were we eaten up by the distance from our loved ones, the loneliness, the different culture and the different living condition? Whatever the reason is, I did not see any signs of strong foundation of their morality. Our home land is well known to be the only Catholic country in Asia, but as time changes, it seems like …so is the foundation of our morality.

Being a parent now and considering the condition on where we live, I am confused and worried. Confused as to where should be the right place to raise my son, for him to have a good foundation of morality. Worried if I myself would be able to support and provide my son with good moral foundation. All I can think of now is to pray. Pray very hard that I would be blessed with good parenting skills, and that I would be able to raise my son to be a good Christian and great believer of God.

To all you parents out there, I hope you would be able to share your opinions and experiences. I am hoping this would shed me light to find the right path for my son.

A Toddler's fear and greatest comfort

It was a week before my son's first birthday that we travelled from Hong Kong to the Philippines to celebrate his first birthday with his grand parents, aunts and uncles and cousins. It was a very exciting day as it would be his first time to travel (now that he is becoming a toddler). He is very observant on his surroundings, attentive and never fails to easily befriend other people. As we arrived in our home town, his grandmother (lola) was the first to carry him in her arms. It was a very memorable moment for me as a mother. As time past by, my son was overwhelmed with the relatives surrounding us. He was not used to having this much attention and everyone wants to carry him, hug him and kiss him. I didn't realized right away, fear started to grow in him. Fear that he would be left behind with these loving people whom he just met. Fear in even taking a bath...as he would cry his eyes out when water would run through his tiny little body. It puzzled me how to help him over come these fears. It was the first time for me to see him feel fear.

It was when we arrived back home in Hong Kong that I fully realized, he was not in his comfort zone that made him felt the fears. My son loves to swim so much that I just have to find a way to help him overcome this fear. As a desperate measure, I took out my swim suit from the chest box (which probably have aged together with me) and swim together with my son. Luckily, his fear of the water went away so easily and was able to play with his toys in the water again. My visiting cousin had mentioned that my son seems to be clingy to me. But I respectfully disagree. It was at that point that I concluded...I am my son's greatest comfort.